Ok ok so it’s only day 4. Have started a new job, didn’t really have time to think much about me not drinking wine. Good I Spose, except when I was driving home and thought yay a wine when I get home. Nope. Can’t.
Like seriously, not even 1? No coz it’s not ever just 1, is it?
I actually have 3 bottles here, one in the house 2 in the garage. In the garage you might ask, well this is where I got to this point.
Last Thursday, I decided to have a bottle of wine, nearly downed the whole thing, a I text my husband on the way home from work to buy another I couldn’t possibly run out, not this early right? Then a friend turnt up with a bottle. Husband came home and dumped 3 Pinot Gris on the table, he obviously had decided to buy in bulk , as he probably was sick and tired of stopping every nite on the way home, or having to go back down the road as I begged for another bottle.
I woke up next morning, feeling like shit, tired, bleary eyed , mind foggy.
Oh shit did I really ring my sister last nite, crying my eyes out over some fucking crap, guilty.
Opening the fridge to see if I’d really drunk that much wine, there was no bottles in the fridge, I really couldn’t have drunk the lot , I went into the garage and checked the fridge, my husband had obviously taken them out of the inside fridge and put them in the garage one, obviously so I wouldn’t drink them all last nite, as I was already shit faced when he got home.
Thats when it hit me, he’s now hiding wine from me so I don’t drink myself into , God knows what. I mean it couldn’t get much worse than the state I was in last nite. Once again , how Fucken embarrassing. I even remember hiccuping while talking to my sis on the phone.
This makes me so sad even writing this to myself. That’s not even a taste of the stupid , embarrassing shit I’ve done in the 20 or so more years I’ve been pouring wine down my throat.
I know I’m gonna have to dig deep and relive those foggy memories to get through this sobriety thing.
xxx